*May Be Triggering for Some*
- Had sex with someone who didn't really care about me - just to feel loved, wanted, and cared about (often only to feel discarded afterward)
- Spending money - I have gone on spending sprees, once spending almost $400 on makeup at MAC only to have to, with my tail between my legs, return it the very next day
- Cause or allow physical pain or harm to myself
- Threaten to kill myself in a desperate attempt to get people to take me seriously
- Overeat, especially sugary, fatty foods
- Said or did very hurtful things to people I care about, only to (usually) immediately feel remorseful - but it was too late - the damage was done
- Sent impulsive emails, and like the item above, only to (usually) immediately feel remorseful - but it was too late - the damage was done
- Put my pressing need to feel better ahead of my short and long term goals while offering not paying attention to how my behaviors could also impact others I care about
We practice skills that help us slow down and put space between our initial emotional reaction to something and actually taking action.
- While it is difficult for those of us with Borderline Personality Disorder to truly be comforted by remembering other times when we felt differently, this is what I push myself to do.
- I remind myself that "this too shall pass," just as every other mood, feeling, or circumstance has in my life. No mood or feeling can last forever, even if it feels like it has or that it has the potential to do so. Circumstances, feelings, and moods, are transient, not permanent.
- In the meantime, it also sometimes help to "Radically Accept" the situation. Radical Acceptance is a skill from the Mindfulness module of DBT. Remember, "acceptance" is not the same as "approval." While you might accept that this crumby feeling is running its course, it doesn't mean you've succumbed to giving up or somehow saying that you like feeling this way. It just means that you're using your Wise Mind to ride it out. You're just accepting that things are the way that they are for right now. That's all.
- Remember that you are NOT your emotion. You are the one noticing and experiencing your emotion, and this, too, will surely pass.
- One other thing that I do in this type of situation is engage in Distraction and Self-Soothing skills. You can use the search box in the upper right of this blog to search for these and other words relevant to how you're feeling right now to find more posts that may bring you understanding and comfort at this time.