What's going on? I'm feeling STRESSED. Those of you who have been following my blog know that I am facing a major work stressor right now. In addition, my significant has an upcoming trip for a week.
- Thinking Dialectically: It's not true that I'm perfectly fine when with my significant other and that I am not ok when he's away. There are shades of grey in there.
- Effectiveness: I will focus on the behaviors that work and are effective for my short and long-term goals of maintaining emotional stability as best as I can.
- Non-Judgmental Stance: Rather than labeling the situation, my responses and emotions to it, etc. as "good" or "bad," I will describe what I observe without any labels -- just the facts.
- Reduce Emotional Vulnerability: I will take care of myself by eating well, getting some exercise (a nice walk here and there, some yoga), sleeping well, and doing some guided meditations to calm my nervous system
- Distract: I have lots of little projects to get done around the house and with my writing. I can delve into these and really focus.
- Wise Mind: I will focus on thinking clearly and as objectively as possible, especially when Emotion Mind comes to the surface.
- Attending DBT Group: I'll be sure to show up and go over my Diary Card and possibly an Emotion Regulation Handout 1a.
I am also going to tend to my inner child during this time. If she wants an ice cream, she's getting one. If she wants to watch something silly on television, we're going for it. I acknowledge that there is a part of me for which this fear of abandonment feels very real and scary, and I intend to love and comfort that part of me through it.
I'll keep you posted on how it goes.
Do you have a difficult time when a loved one goes away, even for a short time, such as on a business trip? How do you cope?
Thanks for reading.
UPDATE The author of this blog no longer meets the criteria for a BPD diagnosis and is in recovery. Join her online DBT informed course (live each week with Q&A) at www.emotionallysensitive.com