But, needless to say, I became quite frightened and concerned about my state of mind. I knew I had no intention of hurting myself. I knew that the thoughts were distressing and that I didn't want them. Because I'd been experiencing other OCD symptoms that had been dormant for a long time (checking doors and stove, repeating things), I suspected that this familiar vicious cycle of unwanted thoughts and distressing over these thoughts were more than likely OCD. This brought some comfort.
- Checked in with therapist about symptoms
- Checked in with DBT group therapist about same
- Checked in with medications nurse and psychiatrist about same
- Increased anxiety meds as prescribed/recommended by psychiatrist
- Researched and am considering additional medication for mood stabilization and obsessive thoughts (I have questions though, such as: Is this as-needed or a daily thing? Are these addictive? Do the potential benefits outweigh possible side effects? How quickly do they work? Is this just temporary, during this stressful time? What other non-medication solutions are available to me? .... I'll be asking these questions today to medications nurse and then discussing with therapist tomorrow.)
- Keeping my appointments (2 DBT groups this week and 1 individual session tomorrow.)
- I've been wrapping myself up in my favorite fleece blanket and swaddling on the couch, watching TV shows that make me smile
- I bought some cherry blossom scented body wash and used some body lotion with the same scent. I also got some new shampoo to have a new sensory experience in the shower.
- Ate a fudge brownie
- Lots of encouraging self-talk
- Being willing to explore ways to feel and be well.
I hope that you are feeling encouraged after reading this post. No matter what you are going through now...no matter how overwhelming or hopeless it may feel, we CAN push through to make choices that will make our situation better. We can choose to refrain from behaviors that will make our situation worse or sabotage us and the hard work we've been doing.
I have a book coming out next month. This is a huge accomplishment. I need to focus on that. I also radically accept that, as I discussed with my DBT group therapist, this particular crisis is probably an old coping mechanism (possibly related to OCD) to distract me from the REAL, intensely difficult situations I am facing right now (trauma related to work and discussions with significant other about his plans to return overseas to be with his parents) and that simply acknowledging this allows me to have more compassion for the fact that, as Dr. Marsha Linehan says: "Everything has cause." It will pass.
I will continue to self-care and will keep you posted on how things are going.
How are YOU doing right now? What are you doing to take care of yourself?
Do you have more than one diagnosis, and how has this complicated things for you? Have you found ways to cope? I'd love to hear about your experience.
Thanks for reading.