Anxiety: A Mouse With A Microphone


I woke up this morning not feeling the best physically. I'll spare you the unnecessary details and just tell you that the particular symptoms I experienced are strongly associated with a childhood trigger.

I was really proud of myself this morning as I was able to, though I didn't feel well and continued to experience the symptoms, stay overall calm, emotionally balanced, and at ease.

I reminded myself:
  • to watch my breathing and slow it down, because our minds and bodies are intricately connected. I wanted to generate peaceful thoughts to keep both my mind and body calm
  • to stay in Wise Mind by thinking of other times that I've felt similarly and made it through
  • that I am here, in the present. I don't have to worry about what might happen tomorrow or even later today. I can be here now. I don't have to worry about what happened in the past. In this moment, I am safe.
  • anxiety is often just a mouse with a microphone. The message that we receive when anxious, the way our body reacts, can be so scary and overwhelming, but most often we are in no imminent danger. We are okay in the present moment.
For self care, I also:
  • called advice nurse for an opinion and a little reassurance
  • took care of my physical needs using DBT PLEASE skills, as best as possible 
  • got on Twitter and shared my experience 
  • worked on a writing project to distract and engage my thoughts elsewhere
  • took a short nap with my cats
To further stay skillful, I: 

  • Did the dishes, even though I didn't want to. This Opposite Action helped make my space look a little nicer for myself and significant other.
  • Made pizza. Thursday night is pizza night in my house. Even though I don't feel  up to eating it, I was able to make it so that my significant other isn't disappointed coming home after a long day and expecting this ritual treat.

I've had one major anxiety attack during the day, despite all of these efforts, but I am okay with it and am on the rebound. When I closely examine the possible cause, I know that I've been feeling anxious for a friend who went inpatient. She is in no way responsible for my anxiety. I just care about her and want her to feel better and am honored that she would share her strength by getting hope and letting me know about it.

I am also anxious that my significant other is getting closer to purchasing his ticket to go back home to his family. (This is the biggie, as are emotions coming up around some other personal issues.)

I do believe that this morning's symptoms were based in a physical illness that came and hopefully went, rather than anxiety, but perhaps it could have been a mix. I continue to care for myself, body mind and spirit.

With each thing I do to self-care, I turn down the volume on the mouse's amplifier. I eventually take the microphone away, and I hold him close and let him know that there really is no danger. All is well, little mouse. All is well, me. This too shall pass.


If you're not feeling well physically and/or mentally today, I send you a huge hug and reminder that you will feel better soon too. Huge love and hugs.


Thanks for reading.
More Soon.

3 comments:

  1. Thank you! I really needed this today!

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  2. Oh thank you for sharing this. I have mostly great days but our truck was towed for the second time in a week from our handicapped parking space because the plaquard got inadvertenly knocked down while getting my granddaughter out of the back seat. We called the police and they were very helpful but couldn't get our truck back. Our air conditioner broke friday and it's been very hot. Our fridge hasn't worked properly in two months.

    Last week when this towing occured, I reacted with emotional mind by stating in the office that I would break my lease etcetera knowing I wouldn't. Today, however, I kept my cool and spoke with the manager who is very power oriented and shows no type of empathy or compassion.

    My husband is a disabled veteran and just retired from the United States Marine Corps and did 30 years. I did cry on the phone with another office professional who in turn called the police for fear I was going to harm myself. I was shocked but realized what that came to be.

    The tow truck driver accused my husband of threatening him with a gun. We don't even have a gun. The manager practically called me a liar and wouldn't reduce the fine.

    After the police came to check on me, they went to the office and within an hour we had a refurbished properly working fridge as well as a reconditioned air conditioner.

    My husband recently lost both of his parents and his brother in law and as a result of funeral expenses, travel expenses and my shopping sprees, we are now in foreclosure of our home of 10 years and relocated to Denver into a small one bedroom apartment.

    All through the intense stress of the last 18 months, I still managed to recover and consider my emotional mind on the phone with the office person was a knee jerk reaction to yet another financial crisis when it could have been prevented and my feelings of not being welcome here. I am proud I stuck to facts and didn't argue, threaten to move, call anyone etcetera. I didn't impulsively want to harm myself and am feeling lethargic, but I know this too shall pass.

    My husband and I are going for a walk and then it's back to the books and will do a chain analysis and more mindfulness studies.

    I don't know where I'd be if it wasn't for you and the other people who share their stories of hope and challenges conquered.

    Thank you all for being here. I need a twitter account ... think I'll do that as well. I want more involvement. Any suggestions? I'm a sponge for constructive criticism and words of wisdom :)

    Laura

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