I went for my appointment yesterday, and this post is a little update on how that went.
I thought I'd begin by sharing with you some images from my hypnotherapist's office, since I gave you a little description in the vlog the other day. Just being there begins to calm me. I think my nervous systems is conditioned to relaxing in that space.
Here is the waiting room:
It is filled with red, which at first might seem counter-intuitive to relaxation, but you don't go to hypnotherapy just to relax. You go to overcome obstacles and blocks and to feel empowered. I feel this way when I enter the room -- that this is not a place of being passive and letting things happen "to" me. I will be doing some work and allowing my subconscious the space to rise to the occasion of healing.
When I let my hypnotherapist know that I wanted to take a photo of the chair I described to you in the video, she said she'd take a photo of me in it so you could get the full effect. :)
So, here I am, not yet in a trance, but just posing for you guys so that you can see what I was talking about:
Doesn't that look like a relaxing situation? The reclining chair, the soft blanket, soft lighting. It's all very relaxing.
Between the pre-hypnosis session (talking about the issues I wanted to work on) and the actual trance session, I was there for a about 2.5 hours.
I worked on the troubling thoughts about dairy food (the dialectic of not wanting to eat it for ethical reasons and a need to eat it due to complications from disordered eating.)
When I left, I felt empowered. I plan to find ways to be able to continue to enjoy dairy while also advocating for the humane treatment of cows -- animals that I dearly love.
I also worked on releasing general anxiety, which has been affecting my appetite and causing issues with EDNOS.
This morning, I am feeling much better about the aspect of dairy, and I am still wading through some continuing general anxiety affecting my appetite. This is not uncommon. Sometimes the full results of the session can be seen that same day, other times it can take a few days to really set in -- at least that's been my experience.
I woke up a bit judgmental about me and my experience because I didn't feel fully recovered yet, and as you can imagine, such thoughts only served to add more anxiety, so I released them and sent an email to my hypnotherapist -- she likes updates on my progress so we can work to make sure I'm feeling as best as possible -- and I appreciate that! I did a guided self-hypnosis CD this morning to reinforce the work that I had done with my hypnotherapist yesterday.
Moment by moment, I am feeling better and being mindful to release the judgments, to remember that not all thoughts -- especially the ones we have when we are anxious -- are true. Sometimes they are just thoughts. Often, it is not even the circumstance itself that distresses us but the thoughts we tell ourselves and believe about our situation - which is often worst case scenario, stressful thoughts that aren't even realistic.
I'm using Wise Mind to remind myself of this and being very committed, as always, to staying skillful, knowing that I *can* handle this. It *will* pass, and that I *can and will* tolerate this distress and feel better very soon.
Remember: just because you're anxious or scared and have thoughts in this state does NOT mean those thoughts are true. They can feel powerful and compelling, but challenge them and engage in LOTS of self care, self-soothing, Wise Mind thoughts, and encouraging thinking.
Things will be better soon, and each time you conquer a mountain like this, similar situations will be less daunting in the future, and before you know it, they barely have any power/effect on you. I've seen it in my own life. May you see it in yours, too.
Thanks for reading.
PS I also realized that the general anxiety is mostly due to feeling overwhelmed with new responsibilities (grad school), wanting to keep up with my Spanish studies, house chores, etc. I took some time today after breakfast to organize my paperwork and pick up around the house. I took action, and this did help to reduce the anxiety. If you're feeling overwhelmed, make a list of a few things that need your attention and work through them ONE at a time. That's all we can do -- and it works! When I find myself avoiding things that I know are for my good, due to anxiety, the best thing I've found is to push through and do them. I feel so much better afterward. I hope this encourages you today!