Chameleon Phenomenon in Borderline Personality Disorder
I was visiting my boyfriend at his office, and dressed in sweats, a short-sleeved shirt, and a hoodie, I began to feel very warm. Instead of just listening to my body and the cues it was giving me, I immediately looked outside of myself, to him and others, to notice what they were wearing. Surely if they weren’t warm, I must not be either…or maybe there was something “wrong” with me for feeling warm when no one else appeared to feel that same sensation.
I decided to do a reality check and asked my boyfriend casually, “Hot in here, huh?” He responded, “Yeah, it really is.” Ah. So my body was right.
I do this with other things, too. I’ve literally asked people to smell food to tell me if smelled “ok” or to feel my forehead for a temperature — all because I don’t feel secure in my own ability to determine these things and completely take responsibility for caring for myself. I’m often afraid that if I don’t get that validation or reassurance from someone else (usually someone older, but it can be a peer or someone younger), I just am not sure what I, personally, feel or think.
I came across this diagram and find it interesting. Does it speak to you, too?
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Thank you for reading.
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Yes! This definitely speaks to me! I often look for permission to feel what I'm feeling. I will feel genuinely unsure of what my opinion is until other people exhibit theirs.
If other people feel vastly different to me, I usually adjust my opinions. If they're the same, I feel validated.
Thanks for writing!
Yes! This definitely speaks to me! I often look for permission to feel what I'm feeling. I will feel genuinely unsure of what my opinion is until other people exhibit theirs.
If other people feel vastly different to me, I usually adjust my opinions. If they're the same, I feel validated.
Thanks for writing!
Thank you so much for sharing how you can relate!
Thank you so much for sharing how you can relate!
YES YES YES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Parenting is especially weird when I feel like if my own intuition does not match up with other people's opinions, then I have to be the one to change. Because of this, I have been manipulated into doing things I don't like before. Usually I come back to my own way of thinking, but it is really hard to trust my own perceptions.
YES YES YES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Parenting is especially weird when I feel like if my own intuition does not match up with other people's opinions, then I have to be the one to change. Because of this, I have been manipulated into doing things I don't like before. Usually I come back to my own way of thinking, but it is really hard to trust my own perceptions.
Looking for validation…uhmmm…. definately been there.
Looking for validation…uhmmm…. definately been there.
Thanks for sharing how you can relate. ♥
Thanks for sharing how you can relate. ♥
:0) Thanks for sharing, Daniela. ♥
:0) Thanks for sharing, Daniela. ♥