I was visiting my boyfriend at his office, and dressed in sweats, a short-sleeved shirt, and a hoodie, I began to feel very warm. Instead of just listening to my body and the cues it was giving me, I immediately looked outside of myself, to him and others, to notice what they were wearing. Surely if they weren’t warm, I must not be either…or maybe there was something “wrong” with me for feeling warm when no one else appeared to feel that same sensation.
I decided to do a reality check and asked my boyfriend casually, “Hot in here, huh?” He responded, “Yeah, it really is.” Ah. So my body was right.
I do this with other things, too. I’ve literally asked people to smell food to tell me if smelled “ok” or to feel my forehead for a temperature — all because I don’t feel secure in my own ability to determine these things and completely take responsibility for caring for myself. I’m often afraid that if I don’t get that validation or reassurance from someone else (usually someone older, but it can be a peer or someone younger), I just am not sure what I, personally, feel or think.
I came across this diagram and find it interesting. Does it speak to you, too?
Thank you for reading.