Being Emotionally Sensitive in an Abrasive World (Borderline Personality Disorder)
Ok. So perhaps the world is not quite “abrasive.” At least not entirely. But to someone with Borderline Personality Disorder, it can certainly feel that way.
Dr. Marsha Linehan, founder of Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT) for the treatment of BPD, likens those of us diagnosed with the disorder as third degree emotional burn victims. Ouch.
This came to mind today at work.
The day started out pretty ordinary, though I was in pain due to TMJ, which no doubt affected my vulnerability level. I had a headache and felt nauseous, but as I usually do in times like these, I put on my makeup, got dressed, and went to work.
It wasn’t easy. One of my coworkers had been on vacation for a week, and the moment I walked through the door, she was ready to talk about her exciting adventures. Any other day, I’d be excited, but I didn’t feel well, and when I don’t feel well physically, my sensitivity around emotions is stronger, too.
I felt so anxious. I smiled through it, as sincerely as I could. I listened to her fun stories, and then I focused on my work.
But every interaction that came my way seemed to heighten my anxiety. My appetite was low (which is a trigger for me), and when a coworker said, “You need to eat more than that [breakfast bar and peanuts] for lunch,” I could literally feel the surge of cold adrenaline rush through my veins as my mind went into overload and into anxiety (fight or flight) mode.
I wasn’t in any real danger, of course. We all have off days physically and emotionally. We all have days where are appetite is less than usual so we graze rather than eat the way we normally do, but I was really triggered by the comment and needed to use my skills in order to keep my composure and carry on at work.
The average, non BPD person may not understand how incredibly intense we can experience our emotions and how vulnerabilities, such as not feeling well or not sleeping well the night before can really have an effect on how we experience our days, mood swings, and our ability to cope with things that we can ordinarily handle.
I used:
Self-soothing by using Wise Mind and telling myself that today is just “one of those days,” and that this, too, shall pass
Distraction by diving into my work and focusing
PLEASE skills by picking up a bagel, even though I didn’t feel like it. I ate it slowly, and it actually helped
Was mindful by focusing on my breath and just noticing the various sensations and thoughts that were coming up
All in all, I am beginning to feel better. Self-care continues tonight with a nice hot shower, some good tv, and snuggles on the couch with the cats.
It takes some adjusting to radically accept that the day-to-day challenge of navigating the world when you have BPD isn’t always easy, but as we apply the skills and get through the challenges, it is certainly worth it.
https://www.my-borderline-personality-disorder.com/wp-content/uploads/2023/03/healing-from-bpd-300x225-1.png00Debbie (author)https://www.my-borderline-personality-disorder.com/wp-content/uploads/2023/03/healing-from-bpd-300x225-1.pngDebbie (author)2012-07-12 02:50:002012-07-12 02:50:00Being Emotionally Sensitive in an Abrasive World (Borderline Personality Disorder)
4replies
Kelly says:
Thank you for this blog. I knew I was diagnosed with BPD at 13 and am 35 now and finally realizing I DO have this and I can get better.
This site uses cookies to give you the best, most relevant experience. Using this website means you're okay with this. For more information, visit our Terms of Service & Privacy Policy page.
We may request cookies to be set on your device. We use cookies to let us know when you visit our websites, how you interact with us, to enrich your user experience, and to customize your relationship with our website.
Click on the different category headings to find out more. You can also change some of your preferences. Note that blocking some types of cookies may impact your experience on our websites and the services we are able to offer.
Essential Website Cookies
These cookies are strictly necessary to provide you with services available through our website and to use some of its features.
Because these cookies are strictly necessary to deliver the website, refusing them will have impact how our site functions. You always can block or delete cookies by changing your browser settings and force blocking all cookies on this website. But this will always prompt you to accept/refuse cookies when revisiting our site.
We fully respect if you want to refuse cookies but to avoid asking you again and again kindly allow us to store a cookie for that. You are free to opt out any time or opt in for other cookies to get a better experience. If you refuse cookies we will remove all set cookies in our domain.
We provide you with a list of stored cookies on your computer in our domain so you can check what we stored. Due to security reasons we are not able to show or modify cookies from other domains. You can check these in your browser security settings.
Google Analytics Cookies
These cookies collect information that is used either in aggregate form to help us understand how our website is being used or how effective our marketing campaigns are, or to help us customize our website and application for you in order to enhance your experience.
If you do not want that we track your visit to our site you can disable tracking in your browser here:
Other external services
We also use different external services like Google Webfonts, Google Maps, and external Video providers. Since these providers may collect personal data like your IP address we allow you to block them here. Please be aware that this might heavily reduce the functionality and appearance of our site. Changes will take effect once you reload the page.
Google Webfont Settings:
Google Map Settings:
Google reCaptcha Settings:
Vimeo and Youtube video embeds:
Other cookies
The following cookies are also needed - You can choose if you want to allow them:
Privacy Policy
You can read about our cookies and privacy settings in detail on our Privacy Policy Page.
Thank you for this blog. I knew I was diagnosed with BPD at 13 and am 35 now and finally realizing I DO have this and I can get better.
Thank you for this blog. I knew I was diagnosed with BPD at 13 and am 35 now and finally realizing I DO have this and I can get better.
Good for Kelly. So glad that you have this attitude of hope! ♥
Good for Kelly. So glad that you have this attitude of hope! ♥