Oops! I did it again… Impulsiveness and Regret in BPD
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I have been trying really hard lately to control the part of me that likes to act impulsively. I am taking the stop and think approach. Or Observe and Describe. I am thinking about my actions and what is the most effective thing to do.
For example i have a neighbour and i don't know who it is, i am only assuming i know who it is…they have a very large truck, so large that it is blocking my view when turning in and out of my driveway. So much so that it is very dangerous.
Now normally i would go to the neighbours house and try to get my point accross. If i was met with a welcoming and understanding response i would probably feel ok. However, in my life i usually find it is always the other way around. I usually end up getting very upset and screaming, swearing and then crying.
Of course afterwards i feel embarassment, regret, shame and obsess over the incident.
So knowing all of this i decided to ring the local Council and ask if it's something their traffic department could deal with. They told me yes and they sent someone out to make them move it.
They have continued to park the truck there blocking my view. So everytime it's there i am calling the Council. Last week i made 2 calls in one day, they said the owner would now receive a fine of $300. I am hoping this has gotten through to them now as they haven't parked there since.
In any event i have avoided all the bad feelings by doing what was best for me and everyone involved.
Sorry for the long message. I am so glad to know that this is a process. And reading your example made me want to share mine. Thanks Debbie:)
I have been trying really hard lately to control the part of me that likes to act impulsively. I am taking the stop and think approach. Or Observe and Describe. I am thinking about my actions and what is the most effective thing to do.
For example i have a neighbour and i don't know who it is, i am only assuming i know who it is…they have a very large truck, so large that it is blocking my view when turning in and out of my driveway. So much so that it is very dangerous.
Now normally i would go to the neighbours house and try to get my point accross. If i was met with a welcoming and understanding response i would probably feel ok. However, in my life i usually find it is always the other way around. I usually end up getting very upset and screaming, swearing and then crying.
Of course afterwards i feel embarassment, regret, shame and obsess over the incident.
So knowing all of this i decided to ring the local Council and ask if it's something their traffic department could deal with. They told me yes and they sent someone out to make them move it.
They have continued to park the truck there blocking my view. So everytime it's there i am calling the Council. Last week i made 2 calls in one day, they said the owner would now receive a fine of $300. I am hoping this has gotten through to them now as they haven't parked there since.
In any event i have avoided all the bad feelings by doing what was best for me and everyone involved.
Sorry for the long message. I am so glad to know that this is a process. And reading your example made me want to share mine. Thanks Debbie:)
I wish I had the skills to stop impulsive behaviour. I've dabbled with DBT but it doesn't really feel right for me – I hate the language, and I just don't get it. My boss, who I have trusted for 4 years, this week announced that he has been in contact with our HR department to put in place a plan to help manage my unacceptable behaviour. I feel so ashamed, so betrayed – he has shared my diagnosis with several people without my permission. I can't imagine ever going back into the office, it just hurts too much.
I wish I had the skills to stop impulsive behaviour. I've dabbled with DBT but it doesn't really feel right for me – I hate the language, and I just don't get it. My boss, who I have trusted for 4 years, this week announced that he has been in contact with our HR department to put in place a plan to help manage my unacceptable behaviour. I feel so ashamed, so betrayed – he has shared my diagnosis with several people without my permission. I can't imagine ever going back into the office, it just hurts too much.
Leeanne I am over 50 and its hard I no longer self harm or dissociate but I think that makes things worse because I now feel the pain and emotions I fine my life much easier to isolate myself so I don't affect or afend friends I have a huge amount of people who love me but I do not believe them when they to say nice things about me I think I would rather just curl up and die I live in australia
Leeanne I am over 50 and its hard I no longer self harm or dissociate but I think that makes things worse because I now feel the pain and emotions I fine my life much easier to isolate myself so I don't affect or afend friends I have a huge amount of people who love me but I do not believe them when they to say nice things about me I think I would rather just curl up and die I live in australia
This is progress! And, doesn't it feel so good when you respond in the newly learned way instead of giving into the impulse? Crisis averted! 🙂
This is progress! And, doesn't it feel so good when you respond in the newly learned way instead of giving into the impulse? Crisis averted! 🙂
No therapy is "one size fits all," so I am glad that you know what doesn't work. Now you can keep on your journey of finding something that does. How awful for you that your boss disclosed your diagnosis without your permission. Have you talked to human resources?
No therapy is "one size fits all," so I am glad that you know what doesn't work. Now you can keep on your journey of finding something that does. How awful for you that your boss disclosed your diagnosis without your permission. Have you talked to human resources?
I hope you feel better. If you really feel like you might harm yourself, please get professional help right away. ♥
I hope you feel better. If you really feel like you might harm yourself, please get professional help right away. ♥