- I continue to appreciate the Healing From BPD community both on Facebook and Twitter. Knowing you were with me in spirit and just a message away on my phone meant the world to me.
- In facing this, I think certain individuals feared I would feel or become “destroyed.” Through my fragility, I acknowledged all of the times in my life that I have overcome tremendous adversaries and still came out as a person who smiles, is kind, has hope, and is in tact. I knew that the day would bring incredible emotional trials, but I declared that I had been through much worse and came out okay. Even though it was challenging to face and cope with the emotions that would come up, I would not be destroyed. I would get through it and heal. I want you to remember that next time you have to face something serious and incredibly difficult. If you’re reading this blog, chance are you’ve been through a thing or two in your life that others couldn’t imagine overcoming. You got through those things, you’ll get through other things. Just like me, you’re an Emotional Warrior!
- You find out how much people really care and love you when they show up when really needed. I definitely felt that love yesterday and am so grateful.
- You can take any situation and put a positive spin on it, as I did with the Giants’ parade happening the day of my meeting, the childhood snacks that were available, and the spectacular views I got to see while I did deep breathing to calm me several times during the day.
- I did end up suffering quite a bit unnecessarily, as I worried endlessly about running into the opposing party and about needing to talk about the details of abuse when I was younger. Neither happened. I was under the impression, up until I arrived, that these were possibilities, so there was cause for my concern, but next time I will leave more room for other possible outcomes and try not to worry so much in advance of potentially stressful events.
- Self-care must be ongoing. My appetite is still suffering today due to continued anxiety. I ended up taking an Ativan, followed by a nap. I’m drinking lots of water, had an Ensure, and have grazed on other snacks. Tonight is pizza night in my house, and whether I feel like it or not, I’m having some. Hopefully, I’ll also enjoy it. 🙂 I have my last day of IOP tomorrow. In light of the radical changes I’ve experienced, I’m not sure if I’m ready to graduate. I’m very realistic that it is a short-term program, but I also feel that I temporarily need more ongoing support, so I am going to advocate for myself around that. Maybe there are some other groups I can attend while I am continuing to get on my feet after all of this.
- Always, always believe in your strength and inner wisdom.