Challenging BPD-Related Distorted Thinking to Reduce Your Suffering
In my early twenties, there were some very specific behaviors that I engaged in related to the BPD symptoms of paranoid ideation and an intense fear of being abandoned. In this video, my goal is to reach out to those of you with whom these behaviors may ring a bell.
If today is when you have your “a-ha” moment about these destructive, debilitating behaviors so that you can reduce unnecessary suffering for years to come, then how powerful is the potential of that?
I suffered for many years, deep in the thick of these behaviors, unperceptive for the most part to the possibility that I could have been engaging and acting from a place of distorted thinking. There is so much power in awareness. When we become aware of our behaviors, as I eventually did, we can finally make changes.
I look forward to hearing whether you can relate and about your “a-ha” moments along the path.
Thank you for reading and watching.
More Soon.
I can totally relate, Debbie.
It's like making a cob webb that suffocates my mind and creates so many problems in my relationships.
Thank you for increasing my awareness!
I will try to challenge my thoughts this coming week and see how far I can go!
I can totally relate, Debbie.
It's like making a cob webb that suffocates my mind and creates so many problems in my relationships.
Thank you for increasing my awareness!
I will try to challenge my thoughts this coming week and see how far I can go!
Thank you so much for sharing. This sounds like a great plan. Let me know how it goes! ♥
Thank you so much for sharing. This sounds like a great plan. Let me know how it goes! ♥
You described me perfectly. Thank you for sharing!!!
You described me perfectly. Thank you for sharing!!!
Thanks very much for sharing that you can relate and that this has been helpful for you. ♥
Thanks very much for sharing that you can relate and that this has been helpful for you. ♥
When my husband and I were first together, and he seemed kind of angry or down, I'd think I did something to make him mad or upset with me. I still have some trouble in that area. I rack my brain, trying to think of what I did to make him mad, and what I could do to make him not mad at me anymore. Most of the time, he wasn't even mad at me, he was mad at something else, or he wasn't even mad at all.
Also, when we were first together, we'd get into a fight and he'd leave to cool off, and I'd think he was leaving me forever. I'd cry until I literally got sick to my stomach. When he got back, he'd say I was overreacting.
When my husband and I were first together, and he seemed kind of angry or down, I'd think I did something to make him mad or upset with me. I still have some trouble in that area. I rack my brain, trying to think of what I did to make him mad, and what I could do to make him not mad at me anymore. Most of the time, he wasn't even mad at me, he was mad at something else, or he wasn't even mad at all.
Also, when we were first together, we'd get into a fight and he'd leave to cool off, and I'd think he was leaving me forever. I'd cry until I literally got sick to my stomach. When he got back, he'd say I was overreacting.
Excellent observations. I talk a lot about how those of us who were brought up in invalidating environments can be so very sensitive and hyper aware of facial expressions, etc. "reading into" them. It probably once served as a survival mechanism. We can become aware and mindful of when we do this as adults, which can be a huge help!
Excellent observations. I talk a lot about how those of us who were brought up in invalidating environments can be so very sensitive and hyper aware of facial expressions, etc. "reading into" them. It probably once served as a survival mechanism. We can become aware and mindful of when we do this as adults, which can be a huge help!
I can completely empathize. For me, I end up hooking onto what I hear in a conversation – even if it was not (a) the exact words or (b) was out of context. For example, I hold onto "A real partner would have…" when that was only one slice of a 2hr conversation.
As for the story unfolding when someone was away… I went on vacation with my spouse to Ireland. They dropped me off at the hotel with our luggage, and went to go find parking, saying they would be back in a minute. I sat outside, and 3 minutes passed. I remembered that only a few minutes before we got to the hotel, they had almost swirved onto a train track (in-city train system). I started wondering if that had happened again. By ten minutes I was convinced they had been hit by a train, but with no international phone, no one would be able to find me to let me know. By 12 minutes I was trying to figure out how to change flights, get the body home, how alone I would feel in my life without them… and at 15 minutes when they showed up (there had been traffic and horrid parking) – I was so grateful they were alive that I was crying all over them. It was… intense. It made sense at the time.
Thank you for sharing. The trick is, of course, practicing. Doing. The second may have been almost 2 years ago, but the first was only a week ago. Practice.
I can completely empathize. For me, I end up hooking onto what I hear in a conversation – even if it was not (a) the exact words or (b) was out of context. For example, I hold onto "A real partner would have…" when that was only one slice of a 2hr conversation.
As for the story unfolding when someone was away… I went on vacation with my spouse to Ireland. They dropped me off at the hotel with our luggage, and went to go find parking, saying they would be back in a minute. I sat outside, and 3 minutes passed. I remembered that only a few minutes before we got to the hotel, they had almost swirved onto a train track (in-city train system). I started wondering if that had happened again. By ten minutes I was convinced they had been hit by a train, but with no international phone, no one would be able to find me to let me know. By 12 minutes I was trying to figure out how to change flights, get the body home, how alone I would feel in my life without them… and at 15 minutes when they showed up (there had been traffic and horrid parking) – I was so grateful they were alive that I was crying all over them. It was… intense. It made sense at the time.
Thank you for sharing. The trick is, of course, practicing. Doing. The second may have been almost 2 years ago, but the first was only a week ago. Practice.