Motherhood and BPD:How I Saved Myself & My Family (Guest Post by Wil)
If you’d like to learn more about Dialectical Behavior Therapy and the DBT skills that helped Wil changed her life, please visit DBT Path.
If you’d like to learn more about Dialectical Behavior Therapy and the DBT skills that helped Wil changed her life, please visit DBT Path.
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Learn DBT Skills Online at EmotionallySensitive.com These are the skills that helped this blog’s author overcome BPD!
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Disclaimers
When you're emotionally sensitive, you can feel guilty very easily. But you can enjoy things, just in a different way. It doesn't make it any less than the way others celebrate. Thank you for pointing this out to us!
When you're emotionally sensitive, you can feel guilty very easily. But you can enjoy things, just in a different way. It doesn't make it any less than the way others celebrate. Thank you for pointing this out to us!
Since practising mindfulness I know much more of my children's life.Before I was often distracted,did housework whilst they were talking to me.They complained about that I wouldn't listen.Now I stop with whatever I am doing whilst they are talking and we are all a lot happier.I don't get annoyed anymore,instead I enjoy our conversations
As a highly emotional mother I always encourage my children to talk about problems and worries they have.I don't want them to feel alone or emotional abandoned like I often felt as a child.I can be very childish when I joke around with them and I am always up for hugs 🙂
Since practising mindfulness I know much more of my children's life.Before I was often distracted,did housework whilst they were talking to me.They complained about that I wouldn't listen.Now I stop with whatever I am doing whilst they are talking and we are all a lot happier.I don't get annoyed anymore,instead I enjoy our conversations
As a highly emotional mother I always encourage my children to talk about problems and worries they have.I don't want them to feel alone or emotional abandoned like I often felt as a child.I can be very childish when I joke around with them and I am always up for hugs 🙂
…and thank you for your post Wil of write,it was very inspiring <3
…and thank you for your post Wil of write,it was very inspiring <3
You are so welcoming. Thank you for your comments and for reading. Stay in touch.
You are so welcoming. Thank you for your comments and for reading. Stay in touch.
I have been told that since I have a BPD diagnosis that I will be a horrible Mother. I know those people are wrong. Aside from the work I do on myself I have been working with children for the past 4 years and it's actually my career. My understanding of children gives me confidence in my abilities to parent.
Thank you for writing this post! I needed it!
I have been told that since I have a BPD diagnosis that I will be a horrible Mother. I know those people are wrong. Aside from the work I do on myself I have been working with children for the past 4 years and it's actually my career. My understanding of children gives me confidence in my abilities to parent.
Thank you for writing this post! I needed it!
Those people are definitely wrong. I believe with proper self-care and support any highly sensitive person can be a good parent.
Those people are definitely wrong. I believe with proper self-care and support any highly sensitive person can be a good parent.
You are very welcome. I am slowly accepting that we do enjoy things in a different way, and that is ok.
You are very welcome. I am slowly accepting that we do enjoy things in a different way, and that is ok.
Thank you for sharing your story. It means so much to hear the voices of other moms who've been helped by DBT. Mothers with BPD who chose to work on recovery are often invisible in discussions about parenting with borderline personality disorder.
Thank you for sharing your story. It means so much to hear the voices of other moms who've been helped by DBT. Mothers with BPD who chose to work on recovery are often invisible in discussions about parenting with borderline personality disorder.
Being a Mom with BPD was all kinds of challenging before I was diagnosed. I had the same issues as you — I would start feeling anxious, but then I would feel guilty, and I would push myself to do things that I was in no frame of mind to do. I would end up getting angry, and then it would just snowball out of control. While taking out on my daughter how I was feeling, I would feel guilty but I couldn't stop myself from screaming and yelling. Today I still have my challenges, but things are so much better than they were a few years ago. Being a sensitive Mom, my daughter always knows that I love her and that I am always here for her. I think I have a closer relationship with her than most parents have with their teenagers because of this.
Being a Mom with BPD was all kinds of challenging before I was diagnosed. I had the same issues as you — I would start feeling anxious, but then I would feel guilty, and I would push myself to do things that I was in no frame of mind to do. I would end up getting angry, and then it would just snowball out of control. While taking out on my daughter how I was feeling, I would feel guilty but I couldn't stop myself from screaming and yelling. Today I still have my challenges, but things are so much better than they were a few years ago. Being a sensitive Mom, my daughter always knows that I love her and that I am always here for her. I think I have a closer relationship with her than most parents have with their teenagers because of this.
you are welcome, Sara. I am so glad to be a voice of change for motherhood and BPD.
you are welcome, Sara. I am so glad to be a voice of change for motherhood and BPD.
I am hoping I have a closer relationship with mine as she becomes a teen as well. She is just as sensitive as I am so we'll see how it goes. Should be interesting – lol.
I am hoping I have a closer relationship with mine as she becomes a teen as well. She is just as sensitive as I am so we'll see how it goes. Should be interesting – lol.
I experienced the same challenges! I had two boys two years apart, had a husband who as a soldier was constantly in the field, deployed, or just away, and I didn't handle it well at all to say the least. It took a diagnosis, a lot of missteps in treatment, and finally me taking my wellness into my own hands to get to where I am now. Now I get called 'the best mom in the world' and finally feel like although I'm not THE best, I can roll with that. 😉
I experienced the same challenges! I had two boys two years apart, had a husband who as a soldier was constantly in the field, deployed, or just away, and I didn't handle it well at all to say the least. It took a diagnosis, a lot of missteps in treatment, and finally me taking my wellness into my own hands to get to where I am now. Now I get called 'the best mom in the world' and finally feel like although I'm not THE best, I can roll with that. 😉
As someone who grew up with a mother who has BPD and refused to get treated – ever- I have to applaud you all for seeking help. Today I'm 30, and I haven't spoken to, or seen, my mother in almost 3 years. And the last time I saw her I didn't actually meant to see her – I've been avoiding her for at least five years, and it took two years to achieve this level of separation. I am so much happier without her in my life. I don't want children – I don't want to run the risk of being like her, it's not worth it. I worry that she's in me somewhere, and one day she will come out. It took a long time to figure out what a healthy relationship looked like, that yelling and screaming wasn't love – trust me, if your children relate your tantrums to love, they will not be alarmed when a boyfriend or spouse does it, and then they transition from one abusive relationship (mother/child) to another (husband/wife, etc).
Good for you, for trying to make it better. I wish my mother had been that brave.
As someone who grew up with a mother who has BPD and refused to get treated – ever- I have to applaud you all for seeking help. Today I'm 30, and I haven't spoken to, or seen, my mother in almost 3 years. And the last time I saw her I didn't actually meant to see her – I've been avoiding her for at least five years, and it took two years to achieve this level of separation. I am so much happier without her in my life. I don't want children – I don't want to run the risk of being like her, it's not worth it. I worry that she's in me somewhere, and one day she will come out. It took a long time to figure out what a healthy relationship looked like, that yelling and screaming wasn't love – trust me, if your children relate your tantrums to love, they will not be alarmed when a boyfriend or spouse does it, and then they transition from one abusive relationship (mother/child) to another (husband/wife, etc).
Good for you, for trying to make it better. I wish my mother had been that brave.