2. Observe, Describe, Participate:
When dealing with my work clients, I use GIVE skills all the time, remembering to be gentle, interested and validating while using an easy manner to communicate. My clients seem to appreciate this style of communication – and they don’t even know it’s a DBT skill!
7. DEAR MAN
I’ve also used DEARMAN many times. Taking the time to outline how I am going to describe, express, assert and reinforce my position while being mindful, appearing confident and negotiating for my needs has enabled me to hone the skill in an assertive, rather than an aggressive way, which has served me time and again.
My iPhone has served as a great source of distraction – I keep pictures of my loved ones, my cat, sunsets, and the beach in my photo collection. I play Words with Friends when I need a break from my emotions, and I turn to Candy Crush when my feelings are so overwhelming that I feel like I’m engulfed. When I’m sad I watch Parks & Recreation, and Amy Poehler cheers me up in 22 minutes.