Pap Smear Fear | How to Cope if You Have Had Trauma (or not)

Whether you have trauma in your history or not, a pap smear can be a frightening medical exam. For the past few months I’ve dreaded, on some level, having my exam, which occurs every 3 years.  The last time I had it done, I had a full-blown anxiety attack and went into what I can only […]

BPD & Difficulty with Relationships | I’m Sorry Jenny

On my way to the grocery store just now, as I approached the stop sign,  I saw an old friend and colleague get into her car. It was so good to see her face. I gently waved.Things ended on bad terms between us, but the bitterness that remains with her surprised and hurt me. She […]

Some Thoughts on Judging | Borderline Personality Disorder

Last week in DBT class, we talked about judging. According to Dr. Marsha Linehan, the pioneer of DBT (Dialectical Behavior Therapy) for BPD (Borderline Personality Disorder / Emotion Regulation Disorder): “Judging is when you observe a fact and then add an evaluation of good or bad.” Her recommendation is to “non-judgmentally observe a fact and […]

Desperate for Connection | Borderline Personality Disorder

One of my biggest struggles as a person with Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) is that I have both a desperate longing to connect with others and a desperate fear of rejection and hurt.I long to have friends. It isn’t very difficult for me to connect with someone and start a friendship. I’m friendly, caring, and […]

BPD & Friendship: My lonely road

I had a difficult phone call today. I was speaking to someone who had been a dear friend to me for several years.  I hadn’t spoken to her since August, when I broke her heart by dropping out of her wedding (as her bridesmaid) just weeks before her big day. I had begun to grow […]

Triggers from Long, Long Ago (and How I coped)

It’s been a while since my last post. Sometimes I didn’t write because I was doing so well. Other times I didn’t write because I felt that I was doing so terribly. Since yesterday, I’ve been thinking about what the original intention of this blog was: self-therapy and hopefully to, in some way, encourage or […]

Don’t Rob Yourself Now (Childhood Abuse & Borderline Personality Disorder)

In my Distress Tolerance DBT (Dialectical Behavior Therapy) class today, one of my classmates said that her distress this week was triggered by something she read in a self-help book. According to her, she had been doing very well, feeling stable and upbeat, and her reaction to what she read really took her aback. The […]

Vigil for a Nameless Cat – Using my DBT Skills in The Real World

Please note: This post contains some potentially triggering imagery. Listen to your heart, mind, and spirit as to whether you can handle reading it. I’ll warn you when I am about to get to that part… I’ve been hearing the word “Mastery” a lot from the doctor who runs the DBT groups that I attend […]

Does DBT (Dialectical Behavior Therapy) Work? My Story: A Case Study

I am currently attending two DBT (Dialectical Behavior Therapy) classes per week. One is an ongoing group/class that goes through the four major skill sets: Mindfulness, Distress Tolerance, Emotion Regulation, and Interpersonal Effectiveness. The other just focuses on the Distress Tolerance skill set. Things have been going well. Before DBT, I felt as if I […]

Crisis Averted! More Success Using DBT Skills (Dialectical Behavior Therapy)

A few days ago, I had the trigger of all triggers. Deep seated in my psyche are some serious fears and insecurites around abandonment and being alone. My situation is not unique. In fact, according to the DSM (the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual used by psychology and psychiatry professionals), one of the top criteria for diagnosing […]