Posts

Saying “No” For the Sake of Your Own Well-Being

Complicated by the complexities of identity disturbance, fear of rejection and abandonment, and self-esteem issues, I have pretty much always had a desperate need and desire to be liked.  I have found it quite distressing when someone possibly or outright did not like me.  I took it as the end of the world, and if […]

Practicing Non-Judgment, Interpersonal Effectiveness, and Contributing in the Real World

As I got out of my car to go make some copies for an important meeting tomorrow, a man with a grey, grown out beard and somewhat ragged clothing raced to open the door for me. I thanked him, and he walked away.  I noted how nice that was but didn’t give him much more […]

Staying In Control When Your Feelings Are Hurt

I had a rather nice visit with a friend today, but it didn’t exactly start out that way.  Many of you know that I am working on maintaining friendships using the DBT (Dialectical Behavior Therapy) Interpersonal Effectiveness skills. Here’s what happened. We met up for a nice lunch, which I had been looking forward to — […]

Interpersonal Effectiveness: DBT Skills at Work

I’m feeling really good inside right now.  It has to do with my behavior at work today in response to some upsetting interactions with a coworker.  I decided to apply Interpersonal Effectiveness DBT (Dialectical Behavior Therapy) skills, and it was a success!A little bit of background:Earlier this year, the company hired a new person, and […]

She likes me, She likes me not. | Frantic efforts to avoid real or imagined abandonment (BPD)

I recently decided to let my walls down a bit when it comes to connecting with others.  A couple of weeks ago, I wrote about a blossoming friendship with my coworker. For the most part, things have been going well, though I must admit that figuring out boundaries, not getting too intense, and not worrying […]

DBT Practice: Creating a Life Worth Living and Interpersonal Effectiveness

One of the main goals of Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT) is for the patient to take steps toward “Creating a Life Worth Living,” according to DBT’s founder, Dr. Marsha Linehan.  Today I had a chance to practice this while also practicing Interpersonal Effectiveness skills – one of the four modules in the program. Creating a […]

Interpersonal Effectiveness (DBT): Why I Don’t Have Friends (BPD)

In an effort to improve my Interpersonal Effectiveness skills and, ultimately, work toward continuing to “create a life worth living” – the motto of DBT (Dialectical Behavior Therapy),  I have taken the risk of reach out to a few people to see if they want to get together.  It was terrifying. The mere thought of the rejection and their […]

DBT Skills in the Workplace | An Example

I am excited to share with you an experience I had today at work. It was a very practical application of DBT skills.  I hope that by reading it you will be encouraged to continue your journey with hope, as things truly DO GET BETTER with hard work and time! In the past, including in […]

Using DBT Skills to Have an Overall Better Day

The great thing about DBT (Dialectical Behavior Therapy) skills is that they are not only useful in times of crisis, but they can also become a helpful every day part of your life.I’ve integrated the skills and am so thankful for them. Before starting DBT, I was very unstable.  My moods shifted from one minute […]

I Wish I Would Keep My Word

Here is something, like most of my less desirable behaviors, that I am not proud of.  It’s something I’m not even entirely motivated to work on, yet it bothers me on some level. I am not very good at keeping commitments.  For example, my boyfriend and I both agreed – mutually – that he would […]